Think about it:
Family:
I didn't think twice about accepting my parents' friend requests on Facebook. I just hit "Accept" and called it a day. However, I've seen article after article and heard conversation after conversation about how difficult a decision it was to "befriend" relatives on social networking sites! Frankly, it really shouldn't be that big of a decision. If what you're posting on your social networking site isn't kosher enough for your parents (Jewish or not), it's probably not going to be impressing any future or current employers either. And that, my friends, is something you should be concerned with.
But it's not just Facebook or Twitter, it's texting, cell phones and Skype too! I love to Skype. But when I'm in my living room, eating a bowl of cereal at 1:00 in the afternoon and talking to my grandparents who live across the country, I will inevitably give away more information about myself than I would like. Perhaps I will absentmindedly pick my nose or chew with my mouth open. I mean, come on, all I wanted was to say hello in such a way that my grandmother could read my lips and not have to keep asking me what I said. It seems that all this connecting is getting a little bit personal.
Friends:
And speaking of personal, when was the last time you logged onto Facebook and saw something that you could have, frankly, done without ever seeing? Two minutes ago? Three? Maybe you're really cutting back on logging on and it was an hour ago? Because every time I get on that stupid, addicting website, I see something that I wish I hadn't. Whether it's a particularly angry status update or an unflattering photo, people seem unable to keep things mysterious. Plus, when you have 1,586 "friends" and most of them consist of people that you met at either a) band camp b) what's-his-name's birthday party or c) the Mary Kay event your great aunt hosted last weekend- you end up knowing way too much about way too many people that you have way too little right to know anything about.
All this exposure and "friendship" has gotten to the point where people are offended too easily. I did a show with someone a few years ago and we became Facebook friends. Well, after two years of never speaking online or for that matter, in reality, I deleted him during one of my monthly "friend purges". Yes, it may sound mean to delete people off of your Facebook roster, but I feel liberated when I decide against hearing about what so and so's cat had for breakfast this morning. ANYWAYS, you guessed it: about two years later, I start running into this particular person on a somewhat regular basis and soon enough, he realizes that we are no longer "friends" online. And what does he freakishly remember? Well, he remembers that at one point, we were. So then, he does what every child of the 20th century immediately would do: he gets offended. Because all of a sudden, us not being Facebook friends means that I don't like him or that I hate him or God forbid, that I don't care about every little thing that is going on in his life.
I re-friended him. All is well with the world.
Friendships are sacred to me. I wish Facebook connections were titled: Acquaintances. Then, if you decided to take a relationship to the next level, you could, I don't know, upgrade to "Friends". It would be special. You could really set people in their places. And the next time you do run into that lady you met one time at that one girl's baby shower, you can proudly concur that you are Facebook acquaintances but never have to tell the little white lie about being friends.
And finally....
Romantic Relationships (Entanglements?)
Here's where Molly Ringwall gets involved. She has an entire chapter in her book dedicated to the whole relationship issue that is specifically aimed towards the modern channels of communication, namely email. She and her husband (of I believe 9 years) began a relationship via email. I say, more power to ya. Especially because, as she points out, email can be the modern day form of Jane Austen type romances; little letters with ridiculously fast delivery and wonderfully accurate penmanship. She created a chart that outlines how long it takes a man to email you and what each time frame says about that man and his level of interest in you. And while I think this is a load of youknowwhat, I will admit that it got me thinking. If woman of the 20th century and onward read so deliberately into the amount of time it takes a man to text, call, email or Facebook us, what was the waiting period for say, letters? telegraph? morse code? smoke signal? cave painting? Did the women of the Wild West sit around and complain to their friends about the slow speed of their man's reply? The friend might say something akin to the modern day, 'Well, his Internet's probably down,' like, 'I'll bet one of the horses on that Pony Express had to be re-shod."
Now, all this communication has made some really interesting positive effect on the world. People are talking more, whether in type, text or actual speech. They want to look at your vacation pictures. We keep in contact with friends from high school, grade school, and I'll bet, somewhere out there, the nursery. And that's wonderful, great, FANTASTIC! I mean, there's a reason I'm still on Facebook!
My point is simply that we give ourselves away too easily. I know, I know, I'm blogging and I have the gall to say, 'Don't tell too much about yourself!' But let me tell you, there's an enormous amount of my life that I will not, CANNOT share publicly. And that's the part that I share with the people that I call my family and my real friends and, if the relationship is worth something, with a man. I want to keep a little bit sacred, holy, private.
No comments:
Post a Comment