Building from the ground up

I'm tired of hearing people say that we need to elect Christians to make this country better again. I'm tired of hearing that we need to pass laws to take back the country. I'm tired of the idea that the government should be in charge of our morality.

Let's face it: whether you want the government to ensure that you will have a steady paycheck or whether you want the government to ensure that your morals will be the morals of the country, you are not accepting personal responsibility for your actions. If you call yourself a Christian and yet you do not teach your children the morals and values that you want your elected officials to possess, then how will your children vote when they are of age?

See, the beauty of democracy is that the people who get the most votes are elected. That means that whoever represents the opinions of the majority will be the one who gets to represent them. Simple, right? Well, no. We are up in arms because we have elected officials that don't uphold the moral code we live by but the fact is that obviously, the majority of the nation doesn't live by that moral code anymore or they wouldn't have elected these politicians. Is that the government's fault? No. That is our fault as Christians for not speaking truth to our families, our friends and, ultimately, our communities. It is no wonder that we are where we are... we have been slacking.

Ponder the fact that 50% of marriages end in divorce. The percentage is HIGHER in the church. Is it a wonder that the sanctity of marriage is not being upheld in the law?

Whose job is it to preach the gospel? Mine. Yours. Not the government.

I'm not against Christian lawmakers. Quite the opposite. I wish that everyone in Congress was a Christ follower. But the only way that will happen is if the majority of the people voting are also Christ followers who make it a priority to care enough about the salvation status of those they are electing. We cannot expect to get someone great into office by fluke. We have to start by believing the TRUTH so deeply that we cannot help but want others to hear and believe it too. If we do that, then the problems that we are encountering in this world will diminish not because our elected officials pass laws, mandates or issue proclamations but because the majority of the nation is living by the Truth of Jesus Christ, who has set us free from the sin and filth of the world.

It cannot be left to our elected officials to CHANGE anything. Only God can change the hearts of man. And believe me, the root of the problems in this world is the sinful heart of man.

Wait Patiently on the Lord

Oooh... Patience.

Tonight I feel like I am pining away for nothing. And so, Psalm 27 swoops in and God speaks clearly: "I love you. I am on your side. Wait for me. Seek me."

Though an army of depressing thoughts is on my left and an army of depressing feelings is on my right, I will keep my eyes on my God, my Savior. I will wait patiently for the Lord. Not only that, but I will pray for the patience that I lack to wait patiently!

Only God is big and wonderful enough to see me for who I really am and still want me.

Twelve

I told you earlier to get back to me when we were in single digits... well, it's not quite that yet, but it's getting CLOSE!

On this happy note, I thought I'd make a list of things that send me into orbit:

-A cup of coffee in the morning, poured into a specifically chosen cup, fitted to my mood

-Thunderstorms

-When Cami tells me she loves me

-Being curled up on the couch with a fire blazing

-When someone gives me a unique compliment

-Walks with my parents

-The feeling of packed sand beneath my toes when I'm standing on a beach at sunset

-70% cocoa chocolate bars

-A new journal

-Printing out a term paper and holding to my bosom like a newborn child

-The smell of vanilla brown sugar lotion from Bath and Body Works

-Getting a letter from my grandma

-The moment in the middle of exercising when I think, "I could do this for much longer!"

-When I open the Bible and the verse that I read is perfect for me at that exact moment

-An email, phone call, skype call, facebook message, facebook graffiti or any sort of communication from my boyfriend

-A big bowl of pasta; yum... carbs

-The smell of a campfire

-Waiting at the airport for someone to suddenly appear in sight

-Holding a plane ticket and a suitcase in my hand

-Watching people get married

-Babies giggling

-Water coloring

That is, in no way, a complete list. However, I think that sometimes, we have to make a point to think about the great things all around us. I may get down in the next few days but I want to have a place where I can come and read about the things that send me soaring.

A Brief Rant

I will now rant:

Drugs are not only killers, they are family ruiners, people ripper-aparters, friendship destroyers and frankly, the scourge of the Earth. Drugs manage to turn someone who was initially crushing on the cute cheerleader to someone who thinks that the most important thing in the world is getting his next high. They turn someone who used to tell her friends about foreign countries she wanted to visit to someone who won't call her friends back.

Addiction is synonymous with loss. It is the equivalent of trapped. Addicts are stripped of their lives, their families, their loves, their hopes and given, in return, nothing but pain.

I want to cry when I think about how much potential has gone unused because beautiful hearts, souls and minds that would have otherwise gone on to fulfill their God given potential, were stopped by a blossoming addiction. Who knows how many cures for disease, beautiful pieces of art, how much world changing music, paradigm shifting diplomacy has been flushed down the toilet because beautiful, intelligent, talented people got caught in an addiction.

My rant is over. It ends in sadness but not futility. This fight is not over. Recovery is possible. People may not be able to change, but God can change them.

Oh, the view from the 20's....

Do you ever look back on something and think, "How did I do that?!" Well, I'm feeling that right now as I look backwards to the day when I had 44 more days until I would see Kyle again. Now, it's only 26 (well, technically 26 in an hour and a half) and the view from the twenties is looking preeeetty good to me. Of course, get back to me when I'm in single digits and ask me how I'm doing then...

God is my refuge lately. He always has been, but there are just some times in your life that he becomes your hiding place. Sometimes, it's in the midst of crisis: I've been there. But other times, there's not a major crisis but you feel too weak to do it alone. I know that I am supposed to be depending on God for everything: I CAN'T do it alone. However, sometimes, that fact is more readily believed than at other times. Now, as I pray and miss and desperately try to stay in the present rather than aching for the future, I find that my greatest times of peace come when I'm in His arms. He hides me from all the fears and sadness that I am running from.

"Oh, no, you never let go, through the calm and through the storm! Oh, no, you never let go, every high and every low! Oh, no, you never let go, oh, you never let go of me!"

Matt Redman's song You Never Let Go was so encouraging to me today. I realized how much power I have on my side: "Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, Your perfect love is casting out fear." My king is a conquering king...

Anyways, the view from the twenties is great. With each day that passes, I am learning more about me, more about him and most importantly, more about HIM. I'm so blessed. When I was interrogating Kyle the other day on Facebook chat, I asked him if he was happy. It took him a little while to answer but one thing he said in response made me think: "I am content and joyful in the Lord." I know that he may not be happy right now. I am not happy per say. I miss him terribly! But I am content and joyful in the Lord. And that's not on my own strength but with the strength and power of my conquering King, who has invited me and everyone else to his wedding feast!

Holy Holy HOLY

Okay... two main points for this post:

#1. My God is awesome and amazing and inspiring!

#2. So is my boyfriend.

This morning, I woke up and reached groggily for my computer which now sits on my bed, ready for me to check my email at any moment during the day or night. :) I didn't expect an email from Kyle because I had just gotten one on Sunday but there, in my inbox, was one from kbell. I immediately made myself comfortable so I could read in absolute peace and clicked with so much excitement.

It was a LONG email. I was getting used to pretty rushed ones (okay, so I've gotten 2 other ones) and to see that I would have to scroll was so exciting. Let's face it, it's the little things like that that make life happy. The email was encouraging in so many ways. I know it's stupid and probably a little selfish, but when he says he misses me, I feel so good. Maybe it's because it's hard for anyone to understand how I feel right now and knowing that he and I are in this thing together makes me feel not so lonely in my feelings.

He shared something amazing that I just want to scream from the rooftops. So here goes:

"We had a gospel meeting at the sight of a Hindu alter in front of fifty unbelievers. At least seven of them accepted the message in some way. I sang revelation song and played the guitar."

This would be really awesome by itself but I burst into tears when I saw which song he'd played because that is the song that I wept and worshiped and sang through tears on Sunday morning. All of a sudden, in a flash, I felt like Kyle and I were so near to one another and it was all thanks to God, who orchestrates things in the strangest ways. Sunday, I'm helping to lead worship singing Revelation Song and then Monday, Kyle is leading worship and singing the same song. I am, to quote that very song,

"Filled with wonder, awestruck wonder at the mention of Your name. Jesus, Your name is power, breath and living water! Such a marvelous mystery!"

When I was praying this morning, I felt so close to Him and to him. See, that's the beauty of a relationship that has Jesus at the center. You are never that far from the other person because God is the tie that is between you and He is so very present and binds us together.

Seek Him. It's the best thing you could ever do with your life.

Thunderstorm Musings

Well, what a fabulous day! It never ceases to amaze me how God seems to know just how to romance me. Yesterday was difficult for me. I missed Kyle so much and I didn't really feel like the day would ever end. But it did, and when I woke up this morning- wide awake at 6:45- I knew that today was going to kick yesterday's butt. :)

Brianna and I drove to Helen early this morning and made the trek up to the bottom of Anna Ruby Falls. We were walking so fast up the trail (which was steeper than I thought and ended up being a good little exercise) that this older couple who were on their way down starting cheering us on and said, "You girls must be in much better shape than us!" That made me giggle. When we got to the base of the falls, we sat down on the beautiful wooden benches that line the whole viewing area and just talked for an hour or so. There was a slight mist from the waterfall and we got to do some extreme people watching. There were the requisite moms who had taken their little ones on a day trip and then the families who were obviously on vacation (think camera bags, Hawaiian shirts and sunscreen) and then there were the fun ones (think 70 year old woman with the skin of a well worn saddle and heavily penciled in eyebrows wearing only a beach cover up which showed off her voluminous thighs). We even got a close up examination of many of these people because we became the resident family photographers for the entire tourist population. We just couldn't sit by and let people try to utilize the timers on their camera.

We finally decided to pack it up. Strangely enough, on the way back down we were told by another elderly couple to be careful going so fast. I quote: "Your feet might not keep up with your head and you'll (miming rolling down the mountain with his hands)..." I assured him we would be fine and kept power walking. We then ate lunch at my favorite place to eat a sandwich ever: The Market . Brianna commented on how I was a good decision maker because I ordered so quickly but I assured her that the only reason that was possible was the fact that I woke up dreaming of the chicken salad on veggie bread that I was going to eat. It's the only thing I've ever had there!

When we got back to my house, there was an email for each of us waiting from Kyle and Brett. Short emails, yes, but so encouraging. We hadn't heard anything from them personally since they have been gone and I was worried about actually getting an email... I'm not sure what I was worried about- maybe that he would feel pressured to write or that he was come across as being unhappy. But there was an abundance of smiley faces which made me giggle and I blushed twice while reading it. I read it over and over again and in some ways, it's nice to have gotten an email instead of a phone call because it lasts a little longer. But I miss hearing his voice.

No matter how many ways I try to mold the amount of days left into different conglomerations, it always ends up seeming long. I mean, in weeks, days, fortnights- just long. Brianna definitely wins the prize for most creative idea: "Why don't we just count down the days left in June and then we'll count down the days in July when we get there?" The idea was sound: two smaller numbers instead of one bigger one. But I don't know about the whole starting a new countdown in July. But if we swing it her way, we have 15 more days in June and 23 more days in July.

Or.... they will be home in 38 days. Just simply being out of the forties is relieving. Forty five days sounded endless. But it isn't. And even though some days have dragged on, the sun continues to set. Every single gosh darn day, that thing dips back below the horizon and goes I don't even know where. And when I wake up, it's back and we start again. So, I have no great proof that tomorrow will be any different. Let me assure you- if the sun doesn't set tomorrow and the day lasts more than 24 hours, I will be sure to note it here. But somehow, I don't think that's going to happen. :) We'll see.