I have 15 minutes to reflect

My best reflections always happen in the most inconvenient of situations. Right now, I have exactly fifteen minutes to write about my feelings and I have about four hours of feelings to express.

So, I condense. Life is throwing things at me right now that I never thought I'd have the strength with which to deal. And yet, look at me! I just made lunch, did a kickboxing video and have plans for a platonic date night tonight. It's almost funny how well I'm functioning. But this isn't a cause for arrongance or even high self esteem. Instead, I'm forcing myself to look at it as proof that my Lord, my God, my Savior, redeems even the gravest situations to show us how large, powerful and mighty His love and mercy are. He doesn't give me more strength than I need but he never gives me any less. I cry, I feel defeated, I whine and I despair but I have never not gotten up and gone on. And I never will be truly defeated unless I abandon my God, who shows me how much he cares. He formed me to be a friend, a cook, a writer, a musician, a daughter, a dancer, a thinker, and a thousand other things but He did not create me to be defeated. If that were His intention, He would have never died for me. Because if there was no hope for me, then I would be defeated. But there is hope. There is hope for me, you and all those who seem defeated, hopeless, abandoned...

And that's only 6 minutes of thought. Wow... the Lord also created me to be a good editor and time manager. Who knew?

Connections

The most important thing in this life is connection. Connection with a God, connection with others. In that order. Period.

Honestly, I could end this post with that. However, since I'm so much better at being verbose and rambling, why don't I do that instead?

I had coffee with a friend this evening. Actually, that's a lie- I drank coffee and then we talked in Starbucks for three hours until they escorted us out the door (literally). REGARDLESS, I got together with a dear friend and we shared our hearts. We laughed, we teared up, we got angry, we got sad, we understood one another: We connected. Connection fulfills. It brings peace. What a wonderful feeling to know that someone understands you or, even better, wants to understand you.

I had (okay, have) a bad speech habit of saying, "You know?" after nearly every sentence. In all honesty, it's gotten better and now only do it about once every paragraph. And yes, I speak in paragraphs, you know? When I really sat down and thought about why I would have this little audible quirk, I realized that it made perfect sense! I want to be understood. I want to be told, "Yes, I understand what you mean." I want validation from the person with whom I'm speaking. And if I'm not getting the visual or verbal cues that I desire from my conversation partner, I feel this pressing urge to confirm that they are connecting with what I'm saying. You know?

But when I am understood, when the stars align, and a connection is made, all is right with the world. And the cost of a Grande Non Fat Caramel Machiatto and the embarressment of being escorted out of Starbucks were completely worth it.

Not ashamed to be Sweatin' to the Oldies

I don't care what you say, Richard Simmon's created a gem when he created Sweatin' to the Oldies. I know it may be "old school", "vintage", or (as my fourteen year old self would have said) "the lamest thing ever" but I love jumping around (in my kitchen no less) to the pounding beat of shamelessly altered and "1980s"fied sixties tunes as I watch slightly overweight and really overweight people bounce around in a variety of spandex shirts, pants, dresses and the occasional (but greatly appreciated) jumper. And if you're looking for something a little bit sexy to keep you sweatin' until the very end, there's a man with shorts that are not quite as short as Simmon's but which certainly display his man parts more prominently. Just sayin.

See, what I've realized is that I like variety. Sure, it's nice to have a routine, but within that routine, I like to mix it up some. I'm not very gifted at actually putting that into motion however. I tend to start something great and do it until I am so burned out on it that I cannot stomach the thought of exercising. But my dear friend Becca, who now wants to exercise with me (yet another example of everyone coming around at some point...) purchased not only the workouts on demand for her computer but also the COMPLETE SET of Sweatin' to the Oldies on DVD. Did you even know that those babies were available on DVD? Well, now you do. So, tonight, we hunkered down, in the privacy of our own home, put the dogs outside, cleared a space and turned up the volume to the point where the piercingly high pitched voice of Richard (Richie S. as I like to call him) was nearly unbearable and we began to jive, scoot, and boogie away.

I'll admit, some of the movements tiptoe across the line of "we're working out" to "um... Richard Simmons is making slightly inappropriate gestures with his pelvis" but I giggled through and found myself giving in to the uproarious silliness of the entire "aerobic concert" (as the DVD describes it).

And I will also admit, with great pride, that when Richie S told us at the end (and also periodically through out the workout) that we were doing great, I silently and then audibly concurred with him. And when he told me to "Never, never, stop reaching!" (as we were doing arm reaches...clever...) I giggled and then solemnly vowed I wouldn't.

Where else can you get a workout and a motivational speech all in one?